Let me say that this is my first blog ever and that I have no idea what I’m getting myself into. I’m not a fan of writing (except for myself), and having spent half my life in Mexico and half in the US makes me a bit “pocha”; which means I mix languages way too often. I’ve been hesitant to constantly share what I’m up to on social media since I moved to San Cristobal. I cut it out of my life for a bit and stopped worrying about what other people where doing in order to focus on my own life. Truth is, I felt constantly bombarded by perfect feeds, “perfect people”, perfect clothes.. and it was inevitable for me to not compare myself all the time. I caught myself wanting so desperately to be successful that “success” lost meaning.
A few years ago success for me meant being financially independent and stable.. meant being accepted by friends and family, having a good, reputable and stable job, dressing well... I was so unhappy at one point when I started checking all the boxes of my definition of success. Why? As I started to grow up, travel, read, and get to know the world without others influence on me, I unconsciously started to form my own values, my own definition of success. It was when I kept trying to check all the old boxes that I felt broken between two worlds.
One where I was doing what made me happy but wasn’t financially stable- it was rocky, uncertain, risky. I no longer felt I fit in with friends and family because everyone is (and was) moving on with their lives on a complete different path- getting married, being stable, getting big jobs, having kids, traveling with friends- but I quit my job, ended a long relationship, sold most of my stuff, and embarked on this unknown journey where I no longer could identify with most of “my people”. I no longer felt I was making my family proud, because I was jumping ship, following a path that I had no idea where it would take me. It has taken me some time to be at peace with that… with myself, with my way to see life, to see work, to see love.
San Cristobal has been like years of therapy and school for me. I’ve done things and put myself in situations that are completely out of my comfort zone constantly. I’ve taken the time to actually get to know myself and work on stuck feelings and emotions in order to free myself. I think I´ll never stop working on myself but doing it feels SO liberating.
Since I started working with communities and artisans, they have taught me to see life through different eyes. Doing meaningful work, providing jobs, living a simple, minimal and healthy life, making time to enjoy my day and the people I work with, has been life changing. I think that’s success?